У розділі представлені різні смішні ситуації, в яких відбувається гра англійських слів.

I hear this new cemetery is very popular. People are just dying to get in.

One day a man went to see the Mozart's tomb.

When he got there, the tomb was open Mozart and was sitting there tearing up pieces of paper.

The men asked: "What are you doing with all of your great works of music?"

Mozart repied, "i'm decomposing!"

There is this man who meets a fairy. He is granted three wishes. Having wished for his most urgent needs the man uses his third wish to ask the fairy to return and give him three more wishes.

The fairy complies and says: "You can call me whenever you want."

"How can I call you. Please tell me your name." the man says.

"My name is Nuff," says the fairy.

"Well", says the man That is an odd name. I have never heard of it before."

The fairy replies, "Surely you will have heard of Fairy Nuff." (= Fair enough.)

Once upon a time a mother skunk had two children named "In" і "Out". They were very active children and whenever In was in, Out was out. When was Out in, In was out.

One day when was Out in and In was out, the mother skunk said "Out, go out and find In and tell In to come in." Went Out out to find In to bring In back in. Within a minute, Out came back in from going out and Out brought In right back in.

Amazed, the mother skunk said, "Out, you just went out to find In and brought In right back in! How did you do it?"

To this, Out replied "Instinct!" (= In stinked.)

In London, one man to another:
A: "You know my daughter has married an Irishman."
B: "Oh, really?"
A: "No, o'reilly."

A man walks into a bar with a lizard on his shoulder. He walks up to the bar and asks for a pint for himself and a half pint for Tiny, his lizard.

The barman looks a little taken aback but serves him and Tiny. Finally, curiosity gets the better of him.

Barman: Why do you call him Tiny?

Man: Because he's my newt. It pays to be prepared to teach newt, lizard and minute afterwards, but expect a few groans as the penny drops!

Once upon a time, somewhere in Europe, a family with three sons lived on a farm. As the farm was too small to support all of them, and the parents were not yet to retire, the sons decided to emigrate to South America, where they bought a ranch and raised beef cattle.

Question: So what did they call their ranch?

Answer: They called it "Focus", because that's where the sun's rays meet. (= Sons raise meat.)

Three brothers started a cattle ranch out west. They were very successful, but could not agree what to call their ranch. They finally agreed to wire their father back east and abide by his decision. He replied at once they should call it "focus". They did so, but now argued endlessly about why he had given them that name. They sent him another wire to ask why that name. He replied, "Simple, because focus is where the sun's rays meet." (= Sons raise meat.)

A: How do you like your new job at the cemetery?
B: I quit after a week. I found the work too frustrating.
A: What happened?
B: No matter what I said to the customers, they were always dead right!

There were two spies escaping from the enemy over the Alps into neutral Switzerland during the war. As they began to feel safe, one spy starts to tell the other what he found out in enemy territory. The other tells him to speak quietly.

"Why?" his friend asks a little perplexed. "There's nobody around for miles. I could scream and not a soul would hear us up here...!"

"Ah," replied the other, "haven't you heard? There are mountain ears?" (= Mountaineers.)