So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said "you've been promoted." And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said "you've been promoted again." And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said "You're managing director." And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said "What happened to you?" And I said, "I careered off the road."

Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.

Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the probable reason why so few engage in it.

Working gets in the way of living.

Why is it men are permitted to be obsessed about their work, but women are only permitted to be obsessed about men?

I mean what good does it do anyone to kill themselves working, because the worms will get you in the end.

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

The harder I work the luckier I get.